Fairytale of New York

Beautiful morning in Moscow. It's like New York in Winter out there. There is even a Santa by the Tchaikovsky Hall.

Which reminds me of my second classic "wind up" involving a lady we shall call Jill Blenkinsopp; because that is still her name.

A year after I ripped up her diploma I was Media Director in Warsaw. Many people back in England thought I'd resigned to live in Walsall, but that is another story.

I was sitting at my desk in Poland on April 1st & was starting to type an email reminding people at the London HQ to play a prank on the delightful Miss B when I realised that I could do it myself using the marvellous new technology of email.

I asked my Ukrainian-American friend Ed if he could vacate his desk for 10 minutes so I could type the following; "Dear Miss Blenkinsopp, my name is Edward Assarabowski and I am the HR director of Y&R's New York Office. You have been selected for Y&R's New York internship program (note the American spelling) You will spend 6 months in New York being "fast tracked" for a future senior management role at Y&R. You will be assigned a mentor & attend a series of lectures about our marvellous business (remember Miss B is a perpetual student). You have been recommended for this by Susan Scrimgeour (Jill was platonically in love with the Client Service Director) Naturally you will maintain your present salary. Please resign immediately & we look forward to meeting you in the Big Apple."

I called James Whitmore to warn him of the bomb that was about to explode and sent the mail late at night so Miss B wouldn't open it until April 2nd. The next morning the device went off.

"I'm going to New York, I'm going to New York," Jill screamed like a schoolgirl. "Should I finish with my boyfriend? 6 months is a long time, I'm going to New York." This went on for an hour until James was tired of the munchkin's screeching.

"Jill, what date is the email?" he asked
"I know James I should have answered yesterday, sorry" the numpty replied
"Jill, where did the email come from" he asked

Miss B stared at the screen, saw the Y&RWarsaw email address and fell silent.

"The Bastard" she sobbed quietly in her northern public school tones.