First I was afraid...I was petrified

Several years ago we were told that each agency had to make a performance at the Summer Party. My trusty Tatar friend Lilia Fakhrutdinova groaned at the prospect. Being of a sunnier disposition I suggested that we "perform" Y.M.C.A. I had taught Miss Fakhrutdinova the dance moves in Kyiv at a delightful restaurant/disco/bordello we had visited.

Lilia was happy to give me the brief. First I had to find the music... which gave me a wonderful morning out of the office searching the shops on Stary Arbat. Then I organised auditions. I got all the boys in the conference room & showed them the moves...see link in the headline. I then did the same with the ladies. As I am not a qualified choreographer I recruited our attractive receptionist Julia who was the best dancer to improve the routine.

It was going to be an expensive production. We bought some Russian Navy T-shirts for the boys and I told the ladies to wear white T-Shirts. Everyone was to wear blue jeans.

The summer party was going to be on a bloody boat. When I got there I noticed in horror that it was called the Felix Dzerzhinsky... the founder of the KGB. I nearly refused to board. But then I realised that I was going to perform a gay classic and get a hundred Russians dancing along. We were dancing on Stalin's grave.

And I always sing "I will survive" at agency karaoke events.