When I was a teenager I was looking for a place at University in London. I only wanted to study in London. Both my parents had attended University there & after growing up in Edinburgh anywhere else in the UK would have been boring.
I went to stay with a friend of my mother who had a flat close to the centre. She was a friendly Australian lady & everything was wonderful. One night her daughter came to see her. We were all sitting in the kitchen while her daughter was telling us about how her husband Douglas was renovating the house. Douglas was putting a swimming pool in the basement. I began to wonder who the hell this "Douglas" was?
I found out later that evening that "Douglas" was Douglas Adams, the author of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. A book that was the Harry Potter of it's day. And Adams was the JK Rowling. Hitchhiker's Guide was "a trilogy of 5 books" that sold over 15 million copies in his lifetime. I had read them all & watched the TV series. And now I was sitting with his wife discussing his swimming pool.
Those that know his books will understand that this blog could easily have been called the 42 rules of media. The answer to the ultimate question of what is the meaning of life, the universe & everything.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The World's Top 100 Brands
According to my Uncle Millward.... :) Simply click through the blue headline
Monday, October 24, 2011
Procter Gambling with YouTube Viewers
The evil P&G are very active on YouTube. Frequently when I want to watch a music video I have to suffer one of their commercials first.
This raises two questions. Firstly is it wise to annoy consumers in this way. Interrupting TV programmes is acceptable as TV is a passive media. But the internet is active & therefore I am irritated every time I have to wait 30 seconds to see my selection. Also Procter ads are effective but dull so it's doubly annoying.
Secondly P&G are paying YouTube who are owned by Google. Is Google paying Led Zeppelin when they put an awful ad in front of their music? Led Zeppelin famously never released singles & have only rarely allowed their music to be used in films & adverts. I doubt they would be pleased to find ads for the new Gillette 11 blade razor shaving close to their performance.
This raises two questions. Firstly is it wise to annoy consumers in this way. Interrupting TV programmes is acceptable as TV is a passive media. But the internet is active & therefore I am irritated every time I have to wait 30 seconds to see my selection. Also Procter ads are effective but dull so it's doubly annoying.
Secondly P&G are paying YouTube who are owned by Google. Is Google paying Led Zeppelin when they put an awful ad in front of their music? Led Zeppelin famously never released singles & have only rarely allowed their music to be used in films & adverts. I doubt they would be pleased to find ads for the new Gillette 11 blade razor shaving close to their performance.
Friday, October 21, 2011
The Rise & Fall of Y&R
I started my media career with Zenith in London. However I only lasted a year in their miserable office until I was lured by the lucre of Y&R.
It was at this famous private American agency that I spent my formative years. Two in London & three in Warsaw. What little I know about the business I know from them. It was a great place to work. Big & rich with a wonderful history, the place where Beanz Meanz Heinz was created. The London office also made no money. Not a sausage. But being a private business this didn't seem to matter too much.
I joined them at their nadir... the opposite of Zenith who were the biggest in London at the time. But a few years earlier Y&R was famously run by John Banks. Apparently upon winning a major account without a pitch he announced that he would honour any expense submitted before 12 noon the following day. People could, and did, go to the best restaurants in town. One person even went to Paris for the night.
Even in our poor years we still enjoyed a lavish lifestyle. There were sports cars in the parking lot which you could take for the weekend. There was the gym in the building built with the profits of the the "Tell Sid" Campaign. And we all went to Paris for our Christmas lunch 1994 as we had won the Eurostar account. We were even winning business again, notably Ford, by producing brilliant ads like the one in the headline link.
When I was Media Director in Poland we were visited by Alex Kroll, the legendary head of the company. His family were originally from Poland so he always took a strong interest in our region, even opening an office in Moscow as early as 1989. He made a wonderful speech to the company about children & the future.
He also made it clear that the secret of Y&R's success was that it was private.
Peter Georgescu, a Romanian American, took over from Kroll in 1994. He took Y&R public in 1998 and WPP bought them in 2000.
It hasn't been the same since.
It was at this famous private American agency that I spent my formative years. Two in London & three in Warsaw. What little I know about the business I know from them. It was a great place to work. Big & rich with a wonderful history, the place where Beanz Meanz Heinz was created. The London office also made no money. Not a sausage. But being a private business this didn't seem to matter too much.
I joined them at their nadir... the opposite of Zenith who were the biggest in London at the time. But a few years earlier Y&R was famously run by John Banks. Apparently upon winning a major account without a pitch he announced that he would honour any expense submitted before 12 noon the following day. People could, and did, go to the best restaurants in town. One person even went to Paris for the night.
Even in our poor years we still enjoyed a lavish lifestyle. There were sports cars in the parking lot which you could take for the weekend. There was the gym in the building built with the profits of the the "Tell Sid" Campaign. And we all went to Paris for our Christmas lunch 1994 as we had won the Eurostar account. We were even winning business again, notably Ford, by producing brilliant ads like the one in the headline link.
When I was Media Director in Poland we were visited by Alex Kroll, the legendary head of the company. His family were originally from Poland so he always took a strong interest in our region, even opening an office in Moscow as early as 1989. He made a wonderful speech to the company about children & the future.
He also made it clear that the secret of Y&R's success was that it was private.
Peter Georgescu, a Romanian American, took over from Kroll in 1994. He took Y&R public in 1998 and WPP bought them in 2000.
It hasn't been the same since.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Radio Monte Carlo - 102.1 FM
As a media buyer I hate radio. Terrible medium for building brands. But as a consumer I love it.
And I can honestly say that my favourite station is Radio Monte Carlo in Moscow. Because you never know what is going to come next. This morning they played Pink, then Istanbul/Constantinople; some Chris Rea obviously, a dreadful Italian song, some Frog bollocks.... then some 70's disco and finally some Eurotrash rock.
It is the perfect eclectic station. In developed markets they use computers to decide the playlist. And it's the same crap repeated every hour. Even in Moscow Europa+ will play the same 20 songs over & over until the vinyl wears out. But Monte Carlo has the perfect random selection.
You don't appreciate the songs you love unless they are preceded by the songs you hate.
And I can honestly say that my favourite station is Radio Monte Carlo in Moscow. Because you never know what is going to come next. This morning they played Pink, then Istanbul/Constantinople; some Chris Rea obviously, a dreadful Italian song, some Frog bollocks.... then some 70's disco and finally some Eurotrash rock.
It is the perfect eclectic station. In developed markets they use computers to decide the playlist. And it's the same crap repeated every hour. Even in Moscow Europa+ will play the same 20 songs over & over until the vinyl wears out. But Monte Carlo has the perfect random selection.
You don't appreciate the songs you love unless they are preceded by the songs you hate.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Is IKEA fascist...?
A few weeks ago I was having breakfast with Jonathan Margolis from the Financial Times. I mentioned an article about IKEA that I had read years ago in his paper about the founder of IKEA, Ingvar Kamprad, being a Nazi. Jonathan happily mentioned that he had written the article in question.
He kindly sent it to me as it is sadly it is not available on the internet. In the piece Margolis writes that Ingvar Kamprad, the I.K. of IKEA, was associated with "a variety of fascist movements in the 1940s & 1950s."
Margolis then asks the question, if Hitler had won, "would Kamprad's innate decency... have stopped him from using slave labour to make IKEA furniture?"
This question was answered in the Daily Telegraph on September 5th; "IKEA used political prisoners as slave labour in the GDR." See headline link for details. If you want the full FT story of IKEA's fascist roots simply write to me at pgarethbrown@gmail.com
He kindly sent it to me as it is sadly it is not available on the internet. In the piece Margolis writes that Ingvar Kamprad, the I.K. of IKEA, was associated with "a variety of fascist movements in the 1940s & 1950s."
Margolis then asks the question, if Hitler had won, "would Kamprad's innate decency... have stopped him from using slave labour to make IKEA furniture?"
This question was answered in the Daily Telegraph on September 5th; "IKEA used political prisoners as slave labour in the GDR." See headline link for details. If you want the full FT story of IKEA's fascist roots simply write to me at pgarethbrown@gmail.com
Monday, October 17, 2011
Communication Breakdown
Google allows me to see which countries are looking at my scribbling. And there are some pretty bizzare places.
Someone in Sudan was even reading this. I assume that this is just a search mistake & they were looking for something about Heinz baked beans.... the inspiration for the number 57. I could have used 42, the meaning of life from Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy.
But if anyone in Sudan wants to know more about media feel free to get in touch via pgarethbrown@gmail.com. And speaking of communication our IT geniuses have completely bolloxed up our email, so I have a new survey to see how important email is for staying in touch.
Someone in Sudan was even reading this. I assume that this is just a search mistake & they were looking for something about Heinz baked beans.... the inspiration for the number 57. I could have used 42, the meaning of life from Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy.
But if anyone in Sudan wants to know more about media feel free to get in touch via pgarethbrown@gmail.com. And speaking of communication our IT geniuses have completely bolloxed up our email, so I have a new survey to see how important email is for staying in touch.
Friday, October 14, 2011
The Greatest Train Journey in the World
Click through the headline for a great ad about the East coast main line from London to Edinburgh. Berwick-upon-Tweed isn't at war with Russia sadly... I checked. But it's a lovely story.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Fear of Flying
When I was young & foolish I did a couple of parachute jumps. The first one is the hardest.
The training takes two days before you are allowed to jump. And the instructors use the same technique employed by the army in the first world war. They shout a lot, telling you to do things which you don't want to do. Stand up, sit down, get in the door.... GO! So when they tell you to go over the top, you just do it. Your brain has stopped functioning. Your body just obeys their commands.
Then you board the aircraft. As I recall there were about 15 of us. I was number eight which was perfect. You don't want to be the first or the last. They tell you to stand up, you stand. They tell you to "get in the door", you get in the door. They tell you to GO... and you jump. Into nothing but thin air, relying on a big piece of cloth to save you from plunging to your certain death. It's great fun.
But there is one drawback. The next time you board a commercial flight you don't have a parachute. Instead you have a life-jacket with a bleeding whistle. That might be reassuring when you are crossing the Pacific or Atlantic. But when you are flying to Almaty from Moscow, over thousands of miles of hard land, & only the shrinking sea of Aral to splash into... it's hardly comforting.
The training takes two days before you are allowed to jump. And the instructors use the same technique employed by the army in the first world war. They shout a lot, telling you to do things which you don't want to do. Stand up, sit down, get in the door.... GO! So when they tell you to go over the top, you just do it. Your brain has stopped functioning. Your body just obeys their commands.
Then you board the aircraft. As I recall there were about 15 of us. I was number eight which was perfect. You don't want to be the first or the last. They tell you to stand up, you stand. They tell you to "get in the door", you get in the door. They tell you to GO... and you jump. Into nothing but thin air, relying on a big piece of cloth to save you from plunging to your certain death. It's great fun.
But there is one drawback. The next time you board a commercial flight you don't have a parachute. Instead you have a life-jacket with a bleeding whistle. That might be reassuring when you are crossing the Pacific or Atlantic. But when you are flying to Almaty from Moscow, over thousands of miles of hard land, & only the shrinking sea of Aral to splash into... it's hardly comforting.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Elephants or Hippopotami...?
The commercial in the headline link was a classic. But a friend of mine was living with 2 engineering students when it was broadcast. They objected to the use of an Elephant as a unit of measurement. Hardly scientific they thought. Could be a big elephant, could be a small elephant; could be African, could be Indian - the ears make all the difference.
I'd forgotten this until I was up the CN Tower in Toronto this summer. The tower enjoys a glass floor one can walk on. 500 metres in the air. It's a spooky experience.
You are comforted by the fact that the glass can withstand heroic weights. But instead of using elephants for their measurements they use hippopotamuses. The transparent stuff can take 14 apparently. Again you ask yourself - are these big happy hippos or small hippopotami...?
Hardly scientific.
I'd forgotten this until I was up the CN Tower in Toronto this summer. The tower enjoys a glass floor one can walk on. 500 metres in the air. It's a spooky experience.
You are comforted by the fact that the glass can withstand heroic weights. But instead of using elephants for their measurements they use hippopotamuses. The transparent stuff can take 14 apparently. Again you ask yourself - are these big happy hippos or small hippopotami...?
Hardly scientific.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wigan Wheels
The funniest man in the World is my mate Jamie.
At Polytechnic in London, where we met, he was on the bus that took students to the Underground station. An American exchange student Gordy got on the bus in full national costume; Timberlands, knee length shorts, plaid shirt, baseball hat, ray-bans & small backpack.
Jamie asked him in his friendly Sheffield accent, "Off to Buckingham Palace Gordon?"
Gordon still hasn't forgiven him.
Years later Jamie was deep in debt from his student days so he did what any wise Yorkshireman would do.... and bought a second hand Maserati in Wigan. He informed me that this was a sound financial investment as it would help him in his search for a wife. "I've had the front strengthened, as the women keep bouncing off it."
I made a deal with Jim. I would lend him several thousand pounds on the condition that he sell the motor. He reluctantly agreed. The next time we met he arrived in a Nissan Micra, "me Uncle died & I inherited it" was his explanation for the sexy new wheels.
I thought that this was the end of the Wigan Maserati tale but there was more. Much more.
A couple of years later James was working in New York... still searching for a bride. He left me for a couple of days while he went to Las Vegas for a conference. Being a fiscally prudent person he told me that he'd read a book & knew how to beat the casinos. He even left me the book. I read it.
Apparently if you have a team of mathematically gifted MIT students you can count the cards & work out the statistical probability at Blackjack. With massive financial backing you can play knowing when the deck of cards is in your favour. Over time you will beat the system. A single Yorkshireman from Middlesex Poly isn't able to repeat this trick. Jamie lost $500.
But while he was away a female friend of Jim's arrived & told me the final installment of the Wigan Wheels. James had sold said Motor to a gentlemen in one of the less salubrious parts of London who went by the name of Saddam Osama Gaddafi or similar.
A friend of Jim's heard about this & decided this was ripe for exploitation. He called Jamie and pretended to be Mr. Hussein, the new owner of the fine Italian car. Jamie's flatmate took the call. Jamie's friend said that there were problems with the car. Jamie told her to tell him that he wasn't in.
But then Jim realised that he couldn't hide so he called the real Mr.Hussein. He got his answering machine, so Jamie left a message saying that he was sorry for the problems & that he would sort it out.
Then Jamie's friend called back to say that he was winding Jamie up before.
And then, inevitably, the real Mr. Hussein called asking why Jamie had left a message about "problems with the car"
As my father always said... never buy a second hand Italian Sports car in Lancashire & sell it to a Muslim in the East End.
At Polytechnic in London, where we met, he was on the bus that took students to the Underground station. An American exchange student Gordy got on the bus in full national costume; Timberlands, knee length shorts, plaid shirt, baseball hat, ray-bans & small backpack.
Jamie asked him in his friendly Sheffield accent, "Off to Buckingham Palace Gordon?"
Gordon still hasn't forgiven him.
Years later Jamie was deep in debt from his student days so he did what any wise Yorkshireman would do.... and bought a second hand Maserati in Wigan. He informed me that this was a sound financial investment as it would help him in his search for a wife. "I've had the front strengthened, as the women keep bouncing off it."
I made a deal with Jim. I would lend him several thousand pounds on the condition that he sell the motor. He reluctantly agreed. The next time we met he arrived in a Nissan Micra, "me Uncle died & I inherited it" was his explanation for the sexy new wheels.
I thought that this was the end of the Wigan Maserati tale but there was more. Much more.
A couple of years later James was working in New York... still searching for a bride. He left me for a couple of days while he went to Las Vegas for a conference. Being a fiscally prudent person he told me that he'd read a book & knew how to beat the casinos. He even left me the book. I read it.
Apparently if you have a team of mathematically gifted MIT students you can count the cards & work out the statistical probability at Blackjack. With massive financial backing you can play knowing when the deck of cards is in your favour. Over time you will beat the system. A single Yorkshireman from Middlesex Poly isn't able to repeat this trick. Jamie lost $500.
But while he was away a female friend of Jim's arrived & told me the final installment of the Wigan Wheels. James had sold said Motor to a gentlemen in one of the less salubrious parts of London who went by the name of Saddam Osama Gaddafi or similar.
A friend of Jim's heard about this & decided this was ripe for exploitation. He called Jamie and pretended to be Mr. Hussein, the new owner of the fine Italian car. Jamie's flatmate took the call. Jamie's friend said that there were problems with the car. Jamie told her to tell him that he wasn't in.
But then Jim realised that he couldn't hide so he called the real Mr.Hussein. He got his answering machine, so Jamie left a message saying that he was sorry for the problems & that he would sort it out.
Then Jamie's friend called back to say that he was winding Jamie up before.
And then, inevitably, the real Mr. Hussein called asking why Jamie had left a message about "problems with the car"
As my father always said... never buy a second hand Italian Sports car in Lancashire & sell it to a Muslim in the East End.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Why I haven't learnt Russian
I have been working in Russia for more than 10 years off & on. And the question I have heard more than any other is "Why don't you speak Russian?"
I have several excuses. Firstly I arrived just in time for the financial crash of 1998. Unfortunately this meant that I had to cancel my lovely lessons to save cash. This was a pity as they reminded me of all the joy I had struggling to learn German at school. I told my teacher Nina that if she could teach me jokes I would be more motivated. She thought I was joking.
Secondly I never imagined that I would still be here a decade later. I therefore only learnt restaurant & taxi Russian.
But thirdly & most crucially Russian is difficult to learn. It's not an especially hard language like Arabic or Mandarin Chinese. It is simply no fun to speak.
I have spoken French in France, German in Germany, Polish in Poland and Turkish in Turkey... and I can honestly state that speaking Russian in Russia is a miserable experience. Russians constantly correct you. They also fail to understand you if you make the simplest mistake in accent. This is in contrast to Ukraine, where most people understand Ukrainian even if they don't speak it. In Kiev if you mix Polish with Russian/Ukrainian you will be understood... and they will appreciate the fact that you are trying. In Moscow the usual response to my attempts to communicate are met with - "why do you speak with a pre-Baltic accent?" or "Why do you speak like a stupid Kazakh?"
I have several excuses. Firstly I arrived just in time for the financial crash of 1998. Unfortunately this meant that I had to cancel my lovely lessons to save cash. This was a pity as they reminded me of all the joy I had struggling to learn German at school. I told my teacher Nina that if she could teach me jokes I would be more motivated. She thought I was joking.
Secondly I never imagined that I would still be here a decade later. I therefore only learnt restaurant & taxi Russian.
But thirdly & most crucially Russian is difficult to learn. It's not an especially hard language like Arabic or Mandarin Chinese. It is simply no fun to speak.
I have spoken French in France, German in Germany, Polish in Poland and Turkish in Turkey... and I can honestly state that speaking Russian in Russia is a miserable experience. Russians constantly correct you. They also fail to understand you if you make the simplest mistake in accent. This is in contrast to Ukraine, where most people understand Ukrainian even if they don't speak it. In Kiev if you mix Polish with Russian/Ukrainian you will be understood... and they will appreciate the fact that you are trying. In Moscow the usual response to my attempts to communicate are met with - "why do you speak with a pre-Baltic accent?" or "Why do you speak like a stupid Kazakh?"
Turkish was the easiest to speak. So few tourists learn even a few simple phrases that any Turkish is met with astonishment & joy. This only makes you want to learn & speak more.
I was once asked by a group of colleagues at a conference why I didn't speak Russian. I pointed out that they had been in the Netherlands for 3 days & had failed to learn the Dutch for "Thank you."
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