Furious on Foksal

Must apologise to DBZ ... Kat was saying she was wonderful... & I said that she could be difficult & demanding at work... good qualities in pilots... not as much fun when you are only selling toothpaste ~ I may have implied that she was the No.1 Drama Queen on Mad Men ulica 101a ... which is preposterous... that honour belongs to the magnificent MC

A dragon so fiery that we eventually fired her...

The most frightened I've ever been ... & I've dealt with the Russian Mafia with a smile ...presented to Rashid Rashid of the Mubarak regime... & met Kat at an airport... was waiting in a bar on Foksal.... Y&R Wigilia party... Having promoted the Aniolem Wegierek... Knowing that Diablo Crusher Crash was coming... You could hear the distant thunder... She flew in... a raging storm of hair & teeth... not curious about my toothpaste situation any more..

"Why did you promote that bitch & not me... ? I could purchase you & your family & your future offspring Brown"

DBZ added this ...

"That evening Of the Promotion Commotion ... I drove her home. You do not want to know what she was screaming. Next morning my husband told me that had an idea of driving her not to Rakowiec ... but to Szczecin"

Which is especially ironic ... as Blank is from Szczecin... & he'd deliver the whirling dervish... the Tasmanian Devil... the Warszawa wonder Witch back to my door for Christmas....

DBZ ... You're No.2 ... Just like Mez & Kat

This is the story of a Hurricane

Better record this before Alzheimer's claims my grey matter.... this is poetry

Like Jerry Lee Lewis, Higgins took an instrument crafted for the genteel bourgeoise & annexed it to his own berserk low life agenda

Higgins occupies 2/3 of the WPBSA disciplinary records ... including putting his hand up an old man's dhoti while on a tour of India.... & verbal abuse of Miss Port Vale F.C.

Here there is a slight discrepancy between events ... Higgins claims he said "well done Stephen... you were a little bit lucky" while Hendry says it was "Up your arse you cunt"

Mirror Image Moscow

We had two major clients in Moscow... Unilever & Nestle

They make similar products

Similar average ice cream

The same sugary drinks

The same stock cubes

Similar stock market value

Their offices were even in the same part of Moscow

Some days we had a meeting with one in the morning.... & the other in the afternoon

Must have been 1999... when a sister appeared a Riverside Towers schlepping Magnum & her doppelgänger arrived at Paveletskaya flogging Maggi

Both companies were tardy about meeting times... so we'd loiter in their reception.  I'd take The Economist... Kirill probably had War & Peace or some similar slim Slavic literature

I mentioned to KK the coincidence of the twins at twin companies... he didn't think it remarkable

I used repetition to make my point until he twigged... The fantasy of the facsimile... copulation with copies

Numero Uno w Madalinskiego 101a

Monika was the most beautiful girl in our buiro

So Rafal Arpad came to me & said ... "Do you appreciate Monika's beauty....?"

Ja mowic "Tak"

So Rafal picked up my phone & called her ... "Direktor Mediow Pan Gareth wants to speak to you" 

I didn't know what the fuck to say... I had about three minutes to sink of something 

Monika arrived ... a vision of pienkna ... all wolosy i teeth

"Err ... Mmmmnnn ..... Monika ... jak Y&R....?" 

Wyszko ok...? 

Rafal ... Go fuck yersel... YNWA 

Coincidence in Life ... not in fiction

At Palma airport for half term... left my beer with a lovely couple while I smoked

On my return we got talking ... after my usual bullshit I admitted that I was a Mad Man. She worked at Saatchi in their pomp

"Do you know Claire Myerscough?"

She was my first boss at Zenith where I met the wonderful Erol Mekhmet Mustafa Emirali.  Erol has a fantastic filthy story about Bill Muirhead... I have another unprintable one, but this lady topped them all

There was a problem with expenses at Saatchi.  They were drinking the profits... A meeting was convened "Muirhead ... you're the worst... what do you suggest we do about it...?"

"Let's go for lunch... open a nice bottle of wine... & discuss it"