Everybody Lies

Thursday, May 28, 2009

What are you Sinking about...?

When I get an radio ad as good as this I might change my opinion about radio

Radio is Useless

Radio is Rubbish

Great to listen to. Brilliant for music...But hopeless at selling stuff. A brand is a visual identity not a verbal one.

Radio should be avoided wherever possible.

Don't get me wrong I love the radio as a consumer. Well not much in Russia as they mainly play EuroTrash & Russian Rap. But Brits of my age all grew up listening to BBC Radio One. The Breakfast Show, Steve Wright in the afternoon, the Top 40 on Sundays, Andy Kershaw & John Peel...all brilliant. Actually no-one really listened to John Peel but everyone claimed to because it was cool.

The new Richard Curtis film The Boat that Rocked shows how influential Radio has been in Britain. But that is not the same as selling soap. Libraries influenced many brains but they are not a great place to build brands. The telegraph revolutionised information, bringing real time news to the world, but it did not replace posters & print for advertisers.

Radio used to be good...but then TV came along & added pictures. And if you think that radio is wonderful ask yourself this simple question. How many great Radio ads have you been sent this year on email...?

If I am wrong send your wonderful radio ads to pgarethbrown@gmail.com

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Ad Break. "Fancy a Coffee..."

Another Classic Campaign

Posters = Problems

Posters are fantastic but they cause the most problems

Because they are physical. TV & Radio are electronic or digital. Magazines we simply send the material to the printers & then it's their problem

When posters go wrong it's our problem. And 90% of the screw-ups I've known have involved Outdoor. And because there is a real cost involved in printing & distributing hundreds or even thousands of posters someone has to pay in the end.

Despite this I still recommend posters to clients. After all it's only media. Nobody ever died because of media mistakes. So just light up a cigar & relax when things go wrong... see the classic Hamlet campaign in the link.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Ferrero Rocher

Another awful TV ad...which still worked

Ad Break: Shake & Vac

More on Posters...

Check despair.com in the headline for some wonderful creative work.

Previously I wrote that Bigger was usually Better in media. One exception to this might be posters targeting young people. Levis had some research showing that young people saw large posters as too corporate so they used smaller bus shelters

And remember that creative on posters starts to wear out after only 10 days so change your ads frequently. Media owners don't give discounts for using worn-out creative work so it's better to change copy too early than too late

Think of a calendar. After one month the image is dead.

Another exception is mobile outdoor. Taxis & Buses etc. As you never know when buses appear the surprise gives the creative work a longer lease of life

Creative is probably more important with posters than any other media. Bad TV ads still work - think of Shake & Vac but bad posters simply aren't seen - if in doubt remember that Sex always Sells

Monday, May 25, 2009

Lizz Wright

Time for another programme break (link in the headline)

Can someone explain to me why Celine Dion, Norah Jones & Leona Bleeding Lewis are so popular when this woman remains unknown to most people...?

Answers to pgarethbrown@gmail.com

Twittering...

Started this blog as I am approaching 41 & wanted to understand new media. Been hearing a lot about Twitter & found this (in the headline) while researching the Russia to Ban Criticism Story

No More History Debates...

The Russian Goverment might put a stop to our Debating Society. Apparently any criticism of Russian History will be punishable by a prison sentence. See link in the headline. Future subjects have been suggested by colleagues which will avoid too much historical discussion...

Alcohol should be banned in Russia
Romantic relationships between colleagues should be encouraged by the company
Russian language should be chosen as an international language
Women’s friendship doesn’t exist
Blondes are more clever than brunettes
Polygamy should be implemented in Russia
Intelligence is more important that beauty
Glamour and fashion rule the world
The job of planners is more difficult than the buyer’s one

But before the law is implemented we should debate that Yeltsin was better than Putin

If....

The football season is sadly over. If...only we'd beaten Stoke home & away.

So it's Tennis & Golf instead. And once again the BBC shows how to advertise an event. Get the two favourites to read a Kipling poem obviously. See link in the headline. Particularly love Nadal's accent

We once did 60 second ads for UBS using poems, including If... & Frost's The Road less Traveled. Wonderful how a long slow poem stood out in the clutter of fast commercials. And London Underground used to have Poetry to read on the Tube while you spent the hours rattling from Heathrow to Cockfosters.

So more poetry in Media & less in Schools I say

Opinions &/or comment welcome at pgarethbrown@gmail.com

Friday, May 22, 2009

Audi Ad Break...

One of my favourite ads of all time....not a campaign though. Pity

"Tell Charles I'm on my way....TAXI"

Outdoor Works...but Nobody Knows Why

Posters work. You stick up a big poster & people buy stuff. It's that simple

The oldest media is still one of the best

But research doesn't reveal this. Consumers won't admit that they are so stupid that a simple poster is enough to make them pop to the shop & purchase a product. People like to think that they made a rational informed decision. That is why Posters are P&G's greatest weakness.

Products banned from TV understand that Posters are the best at replicating the Big Brand effect of the Black Box. Politicians & Cigarette Companies both use posters. Marlboro has become one of the biggest brands in the World using mainly Outdoor. And Hollywood understands that when they want to get people into Cinemas then posters work for them.

Posters & TV are the strongest combination. One works 24/7 reaching people when they are out of home. TV brings the brand to life with short stories before bedtime. Colgate proved this in the UK & won an IPA award. Strategic planning would suggest radio in the morning & TV at night, plus magazines to give the consumer information about the brand. However we found that posters worked best at getting people to buy more toothpaste.

And of course The Glorious CCCP understood the Power of Posters - see link in the headline

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Crisp $150 Million

See link in the headline

Pringles ARE Crisps
American Budweiser isn't beer, in Germany at least
And Jaffa Cakes are Cakes - not biscuits

Good to know

Latest Top Brands from my Uncle Millward...

MTS & Beeline now at 71 & 72

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Enough on Media Lets Debate...

Improve You English.

For years people have asked me to help our staff with their English. But I am not a trained teacher. However this year we had an idea how to encourage the use of English as well as work on Presentation Skills & Strategic Thinking. We started a Debating Society in the Office.

Subjects discussed so far have been;

Gays should be allowed to Marry
Stalin was Worse than Hitler
There is no God
Smoking should be banned in Moscow's restaurants
If women ran Russia we would be Richer than Switzerland
The Death Penalty should be Abolished
Russians are the same as Americans
Money is more important than Love
Russia should join the European Union

This week's debate will be, this house believes that Jason Bourne is better than James Bond

And next week will be Gambling Should be Allowed in Moscow

And the Oscar goes to....

A brilliant performance above by Hugh Jackman

An Advertising Break in the BBC Posts...

Where should ads appear in the break...?

First, Last.....does it matter. As I've said before, nobody knows anything. A few years ago I noticed that Coke put all their ads first or last in break. Masterfoods didn't seem to care where theirs appeared.

Both are large American companies that target teenagers with Sugary products. Even their creative work is similar.

So who is right...? First, Last or in the Middle...? Is it worth paying more?

If you want the answer email me on pgarethbrown@gmail.com

...& there is a great BBC commercial for itself in the title link

Wild... I was Livid

BBC...best comedy. See Link the headline. But they really should take Advertising

Better to be Remembered Once... Than Forgotten 3 Times

Ron de Pear of JWT said that. And he was fired

Jean Pool who said "If you control a market you control the prices" was promoted. Being clever doesn't always get you far in Media

The link in the title leads to a brilliant Pirelli ad which cost $10 Million to make - but people remembered it

Monday, May 18, 2009

Size Matters...Bigger is Better

In media bigger is usually better. Large posters are better than small posters. The Cinema works harder than TV. And longer TV commercials are better than short ones.

Several clients have asked me if we had any research to prove that shorter commercials are just as effective as longer ones. We do but we've hidden it.

That's a joke

As with everything in media if you are not sure - copy Procter & Gamble. They buy the cheapest airtime, on the cheapest channels in the cheapest dayparts. But they use long commercials. They probably know something

60 seconds commercials give greater ownership of the break, offer greater viewer involvement & are more confident. Witness the recent Hovis epic. It was 2 minutes long. Or the T Mobile Dance, again 2+ minutes. Save money on expensive channels, dayparts & programmes & splurge the cash on lovely long commercials

On the subject of the BBC...

We all love the BBC. Great programmes, wonderful comedy, support for new music, etc, etc

But it should take Advertising.

The British TV market is the most distorted I know. Worse than Kazakhstan. Because 30% of viewing is not available to advertisers, thereby reducing the ratings available for clients. This increases the price on commercial channels. And the Government is one of the largest advertisers on the commercial channels - further increasing the cost of TV advertising

Probably the only reason this situation is allowed to continue is because it is convenient for the larger corporations to price smaller competitors out of the market.

People Everywhere Watch Rubbish

"We Just Show What the Market Wants. If opera were as popular as guns and naked women…Nova would show opera. We discovered what Czechs were: beer-drinking, working-class Catholics, rather like Belgians but less cultured."

Zelezny, founder of Nova in the Czech Republic, quoted in the Economist, August 1999

Remember we built all of our brands in the UK without using the most intelligent channels, the BBC, which doesn't take advertising.

And Ogilvy was wrong, the consumer is stupid & possibly your husband or wife. The proof is that most viewers of Inspector Morse thought that it was on the BBC even though it was filled with Advertising breaks

So consumers don't remember where they see ads & often aren't aware of which channel they are watching

Why Channels & Programmes are Essential...

They don't matter. So Why are they essential...?

Because the objective of strong media planning is to obtain the highest coverage, at the desired frequency, at the lowest cost.

The best channel/daypart mix drives this. It is the media professionals job to understand which mix achieves this best

Sunday, May 17, 2009

And Now Back to Serious Matters...EuroVision

The link above leads to The Guardian's verdict on EuroVision in Moscow. Another triumph for the BBC whose sardonic coverage of the event is legendary

"Ukraine's entry appeared to be the porno version of Gladiator..& Azer­baijan's singers were sporting traditional dress, which would be true if you come from the village where Liberace is the mayor"

Insulting my home town here. I think I'll write to the Director General. I do love EuroVision though as it's the only non-Sporting pan European TV event.

More on Oil...Read this Book

Programmes Don't Matter...

As with Channels so with Programmes. Consumers don't remember which programme they see an advert in. Most don't work in media/marketing & are not bothered to recall where they saw the commercial as they flick around the channels

In fact placing your amazing $10 Million commercial might stand out more in a dull daytime show or an old B&W movie. Pepperami won an award with this strategy in the UK, although the rumour was that the campaign was booked late & it was a happy accident that it ended up in so many inappropriate programmes. In fact a cheap commercial might look a little sad in the middle of a $200 Million Hollywood Blockbuster.

There is only one client that knows which of their ads, on which channel, in which programme & at what time is earning the most money....

Send your answer to pgarethbrown@gmail.com

Friday, May 15, 2009

Channels Don't Matter...

Many clients are obsessed with which channel or which programme their ads appear in. Here is a secret...it doesn't matter

Because if it made a difference the channels would have proved it. TV can prove that it is more effective than Radio. And Cinema can prove that it is more effective than TV. But the TV channels haven't found any significant evidence that an ad on one channel works harder than an ad on another channel. In fact the opposite may be true, advertising on the worst channels & in the dullest programmes may be more effective. In media "Nobody knows anything"

The first TV commercial was aired in New York in 1941. Today the TV market in the USA is worth around $100 Billion annually. That is a large incentive for NBC, ABC, CBS & Fox to prove a difference. I asked MTV to justify their 300% price difference in Moscow against normal channels. They found a thin piece of data from Italy that showed a 13% ad recall benefit. Hardly the 500% cinema can prove (see link in the headline)

If the value is nothing, know the price of everything & don't pay more

Just found this on Ed's brilliant blog

Join the campaign...

Pearl & Dean + Heineken

This has to be the best example of Media understanding Creative work

Heineken spoofing the Pearl & Dean Cinema advertising intro...

It's ownable, it's part of a long running campaign...& it was placed in the most powerful medium

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bloody Dubbing...

Was in Warsaw yesterday. Where I can go to the cinema because they don't dub the movies.

I think Moscow is the only capital city in Europe which doesn't show films in the Original Version...maybe Madrid too. The M at the other end of the continent.

Anyone who knows me understands that Cinema is my favourite medium. Big Screen, comfortable chair facing the Advertising, high quality sound system. The perfect place to indoctrinate consumers with our brands

Research consistently shows that cinema beats TV by 500% in advertising recall. It's a double shame that firstly I can rarely go to the Kino in Russia because all the films are dubbed & I can rarely use it professionally as it's overpriced against TV by as much as 3000%

In Poland I have the pleasure of going the movies all the time as they are shown in English with subtitles & I used to put all my clients on the big screen as it was priced in line with TV

There is however one Cinema in Moscow which shows films in the original language - the 35mm. The link is in the headline above. Strangely they show films in English but the website is only in Russian

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Maybe I'm Wrong...

See the link...

...about T-Mobile, not the lack of campaignable ideas in Central & Eastern Europe

Are flash-mobs ownable though...? Answers on a postcard please

Campaign-able...?

At the airport on my way back to Sunny Moscow.

Another good thing about holidays, & my advice is take as many as you can get away with, is they allow your brain to relax. This allows you to remember things

I now remember there is another advertising rule I was taught at Young & Rubicam in London. And most of the "creative" work I have seen in Eastern Europe fails these 2 tests

1. Is it own-able...?
2. Is it campaign-able...?

Two ugly words I know, but important to understand if an idea has "legs"

Is it ownable..? Can the creative work only work for this brand. Or is it generic & can be copied by the category, or worse, any category. Does it apply to the Unique Selling Proposition of this brand...?

Is it campaignable...? Is it just a one-off? Like the T-Mobile Dance in the station. Can it be repeated & expanded upon? Be consistent but never the same. Think of the Marlboro horse, S/he has been smoking for 50 years & still hasn't died; Or Beanz Meanz Heinz, or Probably the Best Lager in the World or Heineken Refreshes the Parts other beers can't reach - see link above.

All these were brilliant campaigns. They started slowly & grew until they became part of the language. Well the English language anyway

That isn't marketing...or even advertising...it's almost Art. And in 14 years in ex-communist markets I still haven't seen a campaign. If you know of any please email me - pgarethbrown@gmail.com

Monday, May 11, 2009

Best Job in the World? Best PR Stunt Ever

My holiday is over. But between swimming & sleeping I still had time to think of media.

This event in particular caught my eye. "The Best Job in the World." Looking after Hamilton island in Australia. Especially as when we are away we wonder if there is a better job than advertising/media.

And it struck me how often clients fail to come up with PR ideas as big as this one. The last one I recall that generated as much free PR was "The World Flies For Free" from British Airways. When British Airways gave away all the spare seats on their planes on one day. It cost them nothing...the seats would be empty anyway & gave them millions in free PR

Too often clients have timid promotions that don't grab the imagination. The thousands of hours of free TV that the Hamilton Island "Best Job in the World" got were worth millions. A simple idea exploited to the full.

And another holiday thought...

Why is it that the News always shows the awful consequences of Global Warming; drowning polar bears, hurricane devastation & flooded coastal areas. This is then followed by the weather report which celebrates lovely sunny weather.

Surely if the environment is in danger they should celebrate cool temperate days & warn us of skin cancer when it's hot & sunny. "Scotland will get lots of lovely rain today while England is suffering in the sun." We can all dream

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Wavıng at Cars

This is me, Inez.

Just read my dads newest post. I really liked it but I have to disagree with the "no waving at cars" theory. When I go wıth my friends for a road trip we usually take the tram. By the tram stop there are a lot of cars passing by. The class waites untill the light goes red and the cars stop. And then the waving starts. We get into classes (4a and 4b) and start collectıng waves. Its sort of a competition.

Also when I go to school in the mornıng I hear a loud "Inez" from some car. Its usually my frıends waving at me.
When I'm at a so called "Green School" we see planes passing by and we scream a Polish saying "Panie pilocıe, dziura w samolocie!". In English ıt means "Pilot, there ıs a hole in your plane!" but if course it rhymes.

So take lots of holidays & wave at cars & planes too

Monday, May 4, 2009

Waving at Boats & Trains...

On holiday in Bodrum. Raining today... but İ haven't noticed. Taking a boat trip tomorrow which got me thinking. Have you ever noticed that passengers on boats often wave at those on shore & vice versa. It's the same with trains.

But people never wave at cars & rarely at aeroplanes.

Boats & Trains stıll retain the romance of travel whereas cars & planes are more functional. We take boats & trains when we have enough time to think. Tıme to be civil to our fellow passengers. Time to enjoy the journey.

In cars we are reduced to our basest instincts. We disobey rules to beat the traffıc. We rush to get off planes even though it only means we are quicker to the standıng bus before queueıng again at passport control. We then endure stress of the eternal waıt for our luggage to appear on the circular hell of the baggage arrival.

So we wave at boats & trains...and the passengers often wave back. It's a celebration that the romance of travel has not died. But we still mainly use cars & planes for our journeys

Medıa is similar. We love our magazınes & the radio. We feel close to them.

But when we want media which works most efficiently we use the media we like the least. TV & Posters. This is correct. We are spending other people's money & are responsible for return on investment.

We should take more holidays & use the train more. There is no room for romance in business. We should know the price of everything & the value of nothing.