Dorty Dort in Heringsdorf

https://www.designscene.net/2018/12/magdalena-cielecka-vogue-poland.html



Had dinner with some mature Polish bird a few years ago... we were in Heringsdorf as "she'd be recognised in Świnoujście or Międzyzdroje" 

The 'date' went rapidly South when I suggested a toast to me as it was my birthday in a few hours

She asked how old I would be

I said 44 ... Or Dorty Dort in Turkish

"You look older"

Now my standard, go to line on these occasions would normally be "Fuck You Very Much"

But my 16 year old daughter was sat next to me & I was with Mr & Mrs Squirrel so I didn't want to spoil the mood.  My poor, long suffering daughter had to suffer the long drive back from Peenemünde to Żółwia Błoć with her demented father trying to think of a better response...

It finally came to me recently...

"Mr Squirrel tells me you're an acclaimed actress... Can you act nice...?"

I'm not the type to name names... so we'll just call her Magda C

Beware of the Krysha (roof) ...!

This is a story I've never told ... It's too damaging

We used to rent our office from the Pushkin Museum in Moscow. During the crisis of 1998 we 'renegotiated' our rent.  We bribed the 'landlady' $10,000 to reduce it

So instead of the Pushkin receiving a decent rent... some nomenklatura/apparatchik witch had a holiday in Dubai ... or somewhere equally awful beloved by Muscovites

This meant that the building was gradually falling to pieces ~ as no 'remont' ever occurred

A few years later our great leader & inspiration, Dmitry Tvatovitch* Yedneral was sitting listening to Whale songs ...or something irritatingly similar ... when some Gips hit his head...

... the Krysha had fallen in

And if you know Russian, you'll know that Krysha is slang for mafia protection. That money we paid,   in full & on time ... every month

*or whichever patronymic he's using this week

The Russians took Pencils into Space

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/apollo/50-years-later-the-pen-that-saved-apollo-11

Which is why they never landed on the moon... & lost the Cold War

They built the Berlin Wall to stop people leaving... & they took it down, to stop people leaving