A friend of mine used to photocopy the Guardian crossword puzzle at work. That way she would look as if she was deep in thought (she was) but it was of a more cerebral kind than her bosses suspected.
This lack of entertainment gave rise to the "wind up." Two of which I am proud to have performed.
The first involved someone we shall call Jill Blenkinsopp; because that was her name. She went on a basic media course for young planners called Media Circle. It took place every Thursday at JWT on Berkeley Square at 6pm. As I recall there were 10 lectures. If you had a 100% attendence record you got a certificate.
Miss Blenkinsopp proudly placed her certificate on her desk. She had only just joined Y&R from University and was one of those annoying perpetual student types. She left our business after a few years to go into teaching which explains what follows...
She asked me in her haughty way "did you get a certificate Gareth? I got a certificate." I explained to Jill that at Zenith, where I was when I went to Media Circle, the opportunity to leave the office at 5 should not be wasted on a lecture that posters reach drivers & young people go to the cinema. It was a golden opportunity to go home early for once. So no, I didn't get a certificate.
I then noticed that her certificate was black & white.
A quick visit to the photocopier gave me pretty decent facsimile of her beloved piece of paper. I had to glue another piece of paper to the back to give it significant heft & weight to stand up on its own. All I had to do now was wait.
Sure enough within 24 hours Miss Blenkinsopp started hectoring me about the values of a public school education. I leapt to my feet, picked up her "new" certificate & proceeded to shred it in front of her eyes. I threw the pieces in her bin. Jill's eyes filled with tears.
"I don't believe you did that" she said struggling to hold back the waterworks. "I'm going to tell James." James Whitmore was the Planning Director.
When I got bored of her sniffles I took the original out of my desk and handed it back to her.
