In an attempt to deal with my skill at postponing procrastination, they told me to help the graduate trainee recruitment programme for account executives ... the ‘suits’
After whittling down a stack of similar CVs... some gap yahs but mostly a dull collection of decent diplomas from the usual institutions. Personality was clearly the deciding factor & two candidates stood out & were recruited. One I had kindly summarised through the selection process as Asian Elvis due to his heritage & magnificent bouffant... a moniker that survived into his employment & maybe he still carries today
The other was a sharp suited sparky chap with a great Glaswegian brogue... the garrulous Gary O’Donnell. Gary was later removed from the Kraft account as the client in Cheltenham said she couldn’t comprehend his fine Strathclyde pronunciation. O’Donnell had clear diction where he rolled his r’s & crossed his t’s ... this lady apparently preferred the inability to say ‘Th’ & dropped h’s & in Thames Estuarial, her kids must have required subtitles for Shrek
A key element of the graduate trainee programme was that apprentice ‘suits’ spend time in each department. After a week in creative, traffic, research & others Gary was given the honour of a week sitting by my desk observing me pretending to work. This was far more taxing in the days before we were all given our own PlayStation. It required an element of ingenuity; media owner expense accounts helped fill the hours
By this point in my brilliant career I’d rather tired of schlepping into town for sumptuous lunches with the leading lights of London media. Rather than a monthly blowout at Quaglino or Bibendum on Lord Rothermere’s dime I realised that daily dining with obscure titles willing to trek to Camden was more efficient. There is such a thing as a free lunch
So most days you’d find me in The Crown & Goose enjoying an excellent Tuna steak Burger with a side of Gay Trucker magazine or Albanian Car Wash Monthly. I later rewarded the C&G’s excellent hospitality via a real postal voting fraud that secured this establishment Time Out Pub of the Year in 1994. Maybe it would have won anyway ... but I’m sure my multiple ballots secured with menaces from colleagues & the abuse of our ‘free’ postal service helped
I felt Gary deserved some decent dining as well & so I arranged a crucial presentation from Pigeon Racing Post or similar high flying title. As cocktail hour approached some wide boy appeared & introduced himself by saying ‘I see vey paired two sweaty’s* togever... is vat to get lower prices or sumfing...”
I said ‘If you’re going to open your pitch with a casual racist comment I guess this meeting is over’ I told him to fly back to HQ. His pitch was over in a minute. He was shocked but Gary was impressed
This was to demonstrate to Mr O’Donnell the importance of diplomacy in client service & to showcase the power of the buyer in skilled media negotiations. Probably I was just showing off for a fellow Weegie
*Sweaty sock = Jock
